My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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