my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
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I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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