she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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