I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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