He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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