I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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