Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
