btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
