ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
