Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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