just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
