If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
