Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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