my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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