I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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