the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
did you just send me my own nude
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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