We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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