You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
