i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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