I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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