Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
