i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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