i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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