a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
