I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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