all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
