guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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