am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
