Need sex. Gaining weight.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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