how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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