We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
