I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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