Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
