No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
