Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
