Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
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It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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