I like my sex mixed with concussions.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize