I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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