If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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