I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
