do herpes really smell.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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