you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
