Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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