CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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