How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
