Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she smelled like a LAN party
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
