I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
