I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
