she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Farmville is her only friend.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
