she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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