Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Text me some of your sweat
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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