a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
PANTIES FOUND
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