I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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