he thought i was a dude.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
