Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
