ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
