Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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