It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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