Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize