Porn is love you can see.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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