Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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