i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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