i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize