So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
