We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
