was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize