North Korea, Best Korea!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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