I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
