Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My hand turned me down
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
