I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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